Author: Ari
“Passione” an interactive E-book that takes a comprehensive look at the Alfa Romeo’s 110 years love affair with pure Italian design.
Bonjour. There’s as difference between a constructive observation of ourselves, which help us grow, and the flagrant criticism of our actions and stage in life which empty the value of our accomplishments . The first one builds. The second destroys. Usually the most critical voice is within our own minds.
Life’s Journey
Lifestyle “Guru” Tony Robbins says that most people “Major in Minor things.” In other words, we focus most of our energy on actions and activities that have no positive impact on our lives. The typical “gossip” that leads to nothing, the constant distraction of social media or the excessive consumption of television have no other purpose than to keep our minds entertained, or distracted.
Our time in this world is limited https://www.arielgavilan.com/2020/05/12/money-cant-buy-me-love-or-time/. Therefore, it makes sense to make the best of it if we want to have a positive impact on our lives, the lives of our family and the overall community. So where should we focus our energy? Below are some ideas that might be of help.
THE VEHICLE:
The body is an essential priority of a “well lived” life. And I am not referring to the body from a hedonistic – narcissistic point of view, but rather as an instrument to live our lives. The body is the vehicle that allows us to channel our energy to achieve our goals. When we are sick or hurt, our attention is basically focused on healing. It is a vital survival instinct that prevents us from fully focusing on our projects or relationships. We can think that health is like happiness or vice versa: we do not properly value it until we lose it. It is worth investing in it, preventively, so that this vehicle can take us to a good destination.
THE GOAL:
If the body is the vehicle, it is our mind that determines where we are going. The mind is of substantial importance in establishing the most appropriate and productive direction for our lives. Clear mind = clear goals. If the mind is confused, tangled, or distressed, we tend to go down unproductive, dead-end paths or spin in to vicious circles that lead to nothing. A clear mind sets clear goals and helps identify the shortest and most effective ways to achieve them. As the Greek philosophers used to say: Know thyself. This maxim is difficult to achieve in day to day life filled with work and obligations. However, the global pandemic gives us the opportunity – and the time – to pause and look inside. Whether through introspective techniques of meditation, relaxation, breathing control or psychotherapeutic techniques, it worth to train our minds to be calmer and to change the “automatic” parameters of thought that sabotage us and the “toxic” monologues that condemn us to failure even before beginning. Our internal dialogue is a precursor of our external achievements.
THE FUEL:
We have already identified two central elements for living a good life: caring for the body and our health – our vehicle – and control and training of our mind to establish clear goals and strategize how to achieve them. The last component of this equation is the fuel. Where does that vital energy come from that drives us day after day to pursue our goals and achieve them despite the obstacles and challenges? Our fuel is called desire. In this sense, it is truly important to know what our own desire is, despite the wishes of parents, spouses and friends. Many times we surrender to social pressure and our desire is not truly ours: we become doctors because it is what our parents expect of us, we play soccer because it is what our circle of friends values or we diet to look like the model that is in vogue. While this may give us an initial push we might run out of motivation midway. A more powerful and long-lasting fuel, but also more difficult to find, is to identify and discover our own desire. For this, we will have to drill deeper and have an honest conversation with ourselves. It will take more time, but, at the end of the day, it will provide a lasting fuel for the rest of our day.
Body, mind and desire are three key elements to optimize our life journey.
Money can’t buy me Love – or time
The Beatles said that Money can’t buy me love. I would add to that: “Money can’t buy me time.” Popular wisdom says: “Time is Money.” I disagree. Time is much more than money. As a matter of fact, all of us, one way or another, exchange time for money. A doctor exchanges his time at the hospital for money. An administrative assistant at the office or a worker at the plant also exchange their time for a monetary compensation. However, the equation doesn’t work the other way around. Even the richest man on earth can’t buy back time. Time is the absolute “equalizer” for all living creatures. The only difference is that we, humans, are the only species that is conscious about our own mortality and the ones that we love. Therefore, since the beginning of time; we have been in search of a meaning for the infinitesimal amount of time that we spend on this earth. At the beginning of a new year, it might be worth asking ourselves: are we spending time in those endeavors that help us to build a meaningful and “authentic” life as Martin Heidegger said, or are we just distracted in the constant carousel of social media, binge TV or consumerism, that, such as junk food, doesn’t nourish the path of a life worth living.
THE NEXT small THING
We tend to spend our time and energy chasing the “Next Big Thing.” The next big love that will shake our core, the next big idea that will disrupt an industry, or the next diet or workout that will change our body forever.
However, experience indicates that either in love, business or health, success is a collection of “micro-moments” that compound on each other into meaningful sustainable progress. Rather than a magical “Eureka” instant, like the one Archimedes experienced thousands of years ago in Syracuse, it is the accumulation of micro-moments of love what sustain a relationship or the hours mastering a skill that make us successful in our career.
The same way money multiplies through compound interests, paying full attention to micro-moments in the here and now, and keeping them aligned with our vision, can have a significant positive impact on our health, business, relationships or when trying to form a new habit.
As BJ Fogg says in his book “Tiny Habits,” the best way to develop new habits, or change bad ones, is to start small and avoiding biting more than you can chew. If you want to run a marathon, instead of going all in for a week and give up on the next one, you can start by putting your shoes every morning and walking just 10 minutes a day. That’s doable right? Over the long run those 10 minutes will become 20′ then 30′ and the pace will evolve from walking to jogging to running. But first you have to start with something as simple as leaving your walking shoes near your bed, so this is the first thing that you see every morning. That will prompt your brain to move into action and take the first step. As Fogg says, you don’t want to kill a new tiny habit before it has a chance to grow.
A similar approach can be applied to relationships. Rather than focusing on a big magical moment that will save our professional or personal relations, it might be worth reflecting on these bonds as built by a collection of “micromoments”. Take a look at this charming You Tube video: L’amour dure 90 secondes (love lasts 90 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fxo9YJhnG8&t=474s
In the world of business, the same logic applies. As David Robertson says in “The Power of Little Ideas,” while many companies and entrepreneurs focus on the next big disruptive idea, experience shows that, in most of the cases, the incremental improvements to existing processes or looking with fresh eyes the life-cycle, packaging or marketing of an existing product, are the ones that have the bigger impact in a company’s bottom line.
Regardless of your area of interest, it is worth considering that the road to success is made by a collection of micro-moments or, like a saying attributed to van Gogh indicates: “Great things are a series of small things brought together.”